www.enjoyinglife.org: Actual Submission Guidelines

This reprinted post originally appeared in our online Forum, and is containted in the Forum III Archives (#29).

Date: Thurs, Nov 19, 1998 at 09:35:26 (EST)
From: Nigel
Email: nigel@redcrow.demon.co.uk
To: Everyone
Subject: el.org Submission Guidelines
The Elkies' Submission Guidelines

Having studied carefully the full range of censored material from the 'Lives with Knowledge' submissions we posted down below (and from others we still have on file), we are now in a position to draw some definite conclusions about the censorship policy at Enjoyinglife.org.

Unless they now start publishing stuff that might prove otherwise, here are the unofficial submission guidelines for would-be contributors:

(And in the event of forthcoming job vacancies at 'El.com', any aspiring editor would do well to brush up on these before the interview.)

  • YOU MAY speak of finding peace within, but
  • YOU MUST NOT mention Guru Maharaj ji's so-called 'Great Declaration' that he would 'establish peace on earth in [his] lifetime'.
  • YOU MAY say that 'knowledge' satisfies an inner need that religions cannot satisfy.
    BUT NOT refer to the practice of 'knowledge' as a spiritual path.
    OR remind people that Guru Maharaj ji once claimed to be the Lord incarnate.
  • YOU MAY say that Guru Maharaj ji wants to make 'knowledge' available to anybody who wants it.
    YOU MAY NOT mention Guru Maharaj ji's promise to reveal 'knowledge' to the whole world.
  • YOU MAY speak of 'respect'
    BUT NOT of 'devotion'
  • YOU MAY mention 'participation'
    BUT NOT 'service'
  • YOU MAY state that Guru Mahara ji doesn't ask for a penny from his followers
    YOU MAY NOT hint at the hidden costs and sacrifices that participation has involved in your own case (unless you have no regrets)
  • YOU MIGHT be able to talk about 'surrendering the reins of your life'.
    OR YOU MIGHT NOT be able to talk about 'surrendering the reins of your life'
  • YOU MAY thank Gumar Maroo ji for the good fortune that has followed in you life since you received 'knowledge'
    BUT DON'T YOU DARE blame him for anything that has gone wrong
  • YOU MUST NOT mention Guru Maharaj ji's physical appearance
    ESPECIALLY the fact that he was once said to inhabit a 'perfect form'
  • YOU MUST NOT mention 'darshan'
    UNLESS you call it 'time with the master'
  • YOU MAY talk about other spiritual paths / trips / cosmic experiences you have rejected
    YOU MUST NOT suggest that any of them are equally valid/invalid as Guru Maharaj ji's 'knowledge', or that other spiritual leaders can offer the same experience (or lack thereof)
  • YOU MAY say 'festival'
    YOU MAY NOT say 'Millenium '73'
  • YOU MAY mention the 'excesses' of the old days (albeit in vague terms)
    AND YOU MAY even blame the premies for their misguided enthusiasm

    BUT ON NO ACCOUNT can you even hint that the man in charge might have had anything to do with it
  • THOU SHALT NOT use the word 'perfect'
    BUT NEITHER SHALT THOU hint that Guru Maharaj ji is less than perfect (ie., by criticising, however mildy)
  • THOU SHALT NOT mention Guru Mahara ji's fabulous personal wealth, lifestyle or gross materialism
  • YOU MAY mention music at programmes
    BUT NOT the devotional songs
    AND ESPECIALLY NOT Guru Maharaj ji's semi-naked waddle-dancing
  • YOU MAY NOT mention ex-premie.org

(Finally, few more that we haven't actually tested, but we can safely assume are banned, since they are never mentioned in the, er, 'real' premie's lives.)

  • YOU MAY NOT mention: Mata ji, Bal Bagwan ji, Bob Mishler, alcohol, hash, mistresses, mala, holy breath, flute or Krishna Crown - or send the full lyrics of Arti to the 'Expressions' section.

It would, of course, be easy enough for El.org to prove us wrong in these assumptions - or for others, premie or ex, to put them to the test. Bruce: if your submission survived uncensored, your Knowledge-lite conditioning must have become second nature to you - you star pupil.

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